So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
