apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize