I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
