this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
50% drunk capacity currently
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
