Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize