Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
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Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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