He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
