so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize