Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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