dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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