i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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