i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize