halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
