They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
