you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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