clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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