Please, let me fuck your mom
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
