You're a womanizer and a bitch.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
