she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
