I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
