You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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