No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She bit a glass in half.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
