i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
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Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
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Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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