I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
