if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
