her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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