I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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