He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
