There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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