I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
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