I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
