Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
