Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
