ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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