is your mom at the bar?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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