You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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