But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
