Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize