he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.