bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
We need to rekindle our bromance
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm at about main and main street
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.