Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I woke up naked with my work shoes on