we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
