dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
