Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
