Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
