Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
two words...techno handjob
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
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We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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