my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize