A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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