Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
