very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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