you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
