Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
