So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
