His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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