She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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