This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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