So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
